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Deviation Actions
I sat there on the edge of my bed, in the dark. Staring off into space. I thought to myself how useless I am. No job, no social life, no car, or money. What am I doing? Wy do I exist? I look toward my phone and wonder, why des anyone like me? Are people just too short sided to know what kind of person they tie themself to? I pick it up and turn it on. I swipe across the screen and open my pictures to some of some one special. Her pale skin, her dark hair, her amazing smile. She was gorgeous, and amazing. We used to talk all the time. She was quiet, though, so am I. But she always smiled. In every picture, every time we talked on video, she smiled a beautiful smile. Eventually we drifted apart. I still comment on something and say hey every once and a long while, but that's not enough. She never says hey to me. She used to, but like me, like all quiet people, she didn't like to text first. She made the effort occasionally, but we drifted apart. It might be crazy t miss her like I do. Maybe the only reason I like her more than anyone is because she got away. I don't know. I asked her on a date once, and she said yes. But without any car or way to get there, I couldn't really take her anywhere. I asked to get her something for Valentine's, but she said she didn't like getting things. When I said I would get her nothing, she sent me a picture of her lips. We drifted apart since then though. Months of silence. I eventually lost her number though. I looked through my messages and found it. I put it in my phone, thought about saying hey. What if she doesn't feel the same anymore. What if she never really did, and I'm just romanticizing it all. Even if she did, there's nothing I could do for her. Not yet anyway. Not without a car and money. So I would wait. Wait until I'm actually worth something. I'll ask for her number again, to be sure she still wants to talk to me. And if by then she's forgotten all about me and feels nothing, then I'll start over. Work my way back int her life. It'd be worth it. If I can ever get out of this place, I'll have her to look forward to. Or dread. I can only hope for the best, but with hope, comes disappointment. I look back at the pictures of her. Even if I had a car, a job, money, she's still way out of my league. I can only wonder what she saw in me. If she actually saw anything. I can only hope I find out soon. If I ever get out of this place. If I ever make it on my own, outside of my parent's.
Will repost as a deviation later and harrass anyne who faves it now to fave it then so I can delete it, kthxbye
Will repost as a deviation later and harrass anyne who faves it now to fave it then so I can delete it, kthxbye
ughhh journal o.o
tagged by !mersunflower (https://www.deviantart.com/mersunflower)
1. If you could tell everyone you knew something about you, what would it be and why?
I do tell everyone I dropped out of highschool and have no life >.> because, idk o.o
2. What is your favorite thing in the world (object, hobby, person, etc.)?
Idk. My phone or computer o.o
3. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Finlandddddddddd
4. How do you feel about yourself (appearance, personality, etc.)?
Better than I did a couple years ago. Not great though
5. It's the Zombie Apocalypse. What do you do first?
To home Home Depot! gotta get some shit to kill shit with o.o and tur
Computer fixed
ish
Art to be posted soon
Or I'll break it again trying to fix the graphics card. I haven't decided yet
Never mind, it fixed it's self
Fashion post
Someone said I should shop more at Forever 21, so I decided to look online, to get a feel for what they were like. I won't buy anything, I'll wait until I can drive. And have money o.o but anyway, they seemed kind of hipster. I picked out some stuff I liked, but I'd like if you'll look and comment on my choices and how i would look and stuff. I hope fashion can be art too, so help me :c
One thing that bugged me though, was all the guys were better looking than me. My arms are way skinnier than theirs, so that doesn't help...
I like hats :dummy:
I saw another vest earlier that I really liked, but now ish gone v.v
For the most part, I li
Hey D:
Read and back the feeds o.o http://vivere-amor-enim.deviantart.com/journal/Please-Please-Please-help-me-368912699
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Comments48
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maybe you should just take a chance and talk to her, before you drift apart completely.
you'll never know unless you take a chance. ...
you'll never know unless you take a chance. ...